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<br><table width='100%' cellpadding=3 cellspacing=3 border=0><tr valign='top'><th>Achievement</th><th>How to unlock
</th></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Buff Wreckington</td><td>Wreck the Buff Mechington.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>High Definition Piss Jugs</td><td>Find a jug of piss. For some reason.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>I've seen things...</td><td>Discover the fate of the Captain of the Hermes.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>In the most ass way possible...</td><td>Defeat the Buff Mechington with a kick to the butt.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Me time</td><td>You know what you did.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>That Purple Drank</td><td>Drink an explosion potion. For some reason.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>To pass a man in the woods...</td><td>Cook and eat human flesh.
</td></tr></table>
