| Achievement | How to unlock
|
|---|
| Big Balls (35 points) | Kill Kang.
|
| Boot Camp (5 points) | Survive the tutorial!
|
| Creeper (5 points) | Load the crafting menu.
|
| Dogs of War (5 points) | Destroy the space station!
|
| Fire in the Sky (5 points) | Survive the asteroid belt.
|
| Goodman! (69 points) | "The game just called me a F$#!stick!"
|
| Gorbachev (5 points) | Have mercy. Let the Comrade live.
|
| Hand over Fist (5 points) | Rip both arms off a mech.
|
| Ho Lee Fuke (35 points) | Defeat Kang's weird faceship.
|
| I am a Real American (5 points) | Hatred For None.
|
| Into the Void (5 points) | I understand and I wish to continue.
|
| Ivan Getridov (5 points) | Kick the Comrade's ass!
|
| More Weirds (5 points) | Complete level 666.
|
| Nice shootin', Tex (150 points) | Get an S Rank on level 7-1 or 10-1.
|
| No Respect (5 points) | Skip Credits.
|
| Pass the Two Million Sunblock (35 points) | Into the sun. Well done.
|
| Poo Poo Pee Pee (1 points) | Punch a Toilet.
|
| Push Over (5 points) | Okay. Fine!
|
| Putin (5 points) | No peace! Kill the Comrade!
|
| Shot to the Heart (35 points) | Defeat the Worm's heart.
|
| Slick Willie (150 points) | Beat a Level without taking damage.
|
| Spineless (5 points) | I am weak.
|
| Sweating Bullets (35 points) | Destroy the Battle Dome without taking damage.
|
| The Biggest Little (5 points) | Complete 9-1.
|
| The Level Above Human (5 points) | Beat Heaven.
|
| These Colors Don't Run (5 points) | Destroy the Cock Sauce Factory
|
| Tipper Gore (150 points) | Complete a level with the middle finger censored.
|
| Yeah, BRAH! (150 points) | Get a million points on 1-1.
|
| You Played Yourself (35 points) | Destroy bizarro Gamma Ray.
|
| Yuri Gannadye (35 points) | Kill the Comrade!
|
