| Trophy | How to unlock | Type
|
|---|
| 370,000 Traces A Year (secret) | (Chapter 18) Keep checking records even after given the option to Give Up | Bronze
|
| August 24th (secret) | (Chapter 17) Eat the entire stack of waffles | Bronze
|
| Baby's Got a Gun | (Chapter 3) Shoot the down the ducks with 100% accuracy | Bronze
|
| Begin The Cycle | (Chapter 1) Begin your journey into The American Dream | Bronze
|
| Bring All The Boys to The Yard | Make a milkshake | Bronze
|
| Carnival Pleasures | (Chapter 6) Shoot down 5 pins from the back row in the shooting game | Bronze
|
| Catch of the Century | (Chapter 19) Shoot a fish in mid-air | Bronze
|
| Cleansing The Mind (secret) | (Chapter 12) Hit yourself in the head with toilet paper | Bronze
|
| Continue the Cycle (secret) | Experienced the fake ending | Gold
|
| Edward Scissorguns (secret) | (Chapter 20) Complete the stage without a single civilian casualty | Gold
|
| End the Cycle (secret) | Experienced the true ending | Gold
|
| Environmentally Conscious (secret) | (Chapter 15) Shoot 15 beer cans into the trash can | Bronze
|
| Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bullet (secret) | (Chapter 9) Defeat the hose without getting hit by any bolts | Bronze
|
| Freedom of Speech (secret) | (Chapter 13) Listen to all of Rex's objection before shooting him | Silver
|
| Half a Patriot | Shoot half the hidden stars | Silver
|
| Happiness Is a Warm Gun | Shoot 1000 bullets | Silver
|
| Heartbreak | (Chapter 5) Change your mind about which one of the twins you like | Bronze
|
| How Is Babby Formed (secret) | (Chapter 11) Learn how babies are made | Silver
|
| Jerkin Around | Pump the shotgun 10 times without shooting | Bronze
|
| Lived The American Dream | Thanks for playing! Love, Samurai Punk |
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