| Achievement | How to unlock |
| A-Lister (20 points) | Complete all story missions in Sunnywood.
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| Apocalypse Right Now (90 points) | Complete all Missions, Odd Jobs, Challenges, and unlock all Landing Zones.
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| Arc de Umph (10 points) | Belleville - Throw a human above the Arc.
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| Barge Boomer (10 points) | Belleville - Destroy the barges.
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| Belleville Beneficiary (20 points) | Find all the Furon Nails in Belleville.
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| Big Fromage (30 points) | Complete all story missions in Belleville.
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| Biochemist (25 points) | Collect 1000000 Furon DNA.
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| Biologist (20 points) | Collect 10000 Furon DNA.
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| Brain Surgeon (30 points) | Collect 5000000 Furon DNA.
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| Carnie (20 points) | Beat the Furon Librarian's high score in all of the Humania Games.
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| Crypto Sutra (90 points) | Complete all Paths of Enlightenment.
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| DAHM Master (25 points) | Find all 8 DAHMs.
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| Definitely Not in Kansas (10 points) | Shen Long - Unleash the Tornadotron to throw tons of shipyard crates in the air.
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| Destroy All Humans! (20 points) | Destroy 1,979 Humans.
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| Donut Holed (10 points) | Sunnywood - Throw a civilian through the donut hole.
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| Fist Master (20 points) | Use the Temporal Fist 75 times.
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| Fist of Furon (20 points) | Destroy 15 Triads in Shen Long.
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| Flyswatter (20 points) | Take down 100 airborne enemies with the Seeker Drones.
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| Furoball Dribbler (20 points) | Bounce 100 humans with the Superballer.
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| Furon Commander (35 points) | Complete all story missions on the 4th Ring of Furon.
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| Furon Factfinder (20 points) | Find all the Lava Lamps on the 4th Ring of Furon.
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| Furon in the Sky (20 points) | Liquify 100 buildings with the Death Ray.
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| Globeclotter (10 points) | Sunnywood - Destroy several humans within 3 seconds with the globe.
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| High Roller (20 points) | Complete all story missions in Las Paradiso.
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| Horticulturist (20 points) | Feed 100 humans to the Venus Human Trap.
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| Massive Damage (20 points) | Trash 500 vehicles.
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| Monkish Bowling (10 points) | Shen Long - Use the bowling ball to bowl over at least 3 monks with a single throw.
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| Paradiso Pursuer (20 points) | Find all the Furon Crash Test Dummies in Las Paradiso.
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| Pox's Apprentice (20 points) | Complete half of the Odd Jobs in the game.
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| Pro-Pain (10 points) | Las Paradiso - Shoot a Propane tank cluster to blow up a building.
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| Proctologist (20 points) | Probe 100 humans with the Anal Probe.
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| Red Scare (35 points) | Destroy 25 Red Nexosporidium Warriors on the 4th Ring of Furon.
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| Sacred Son of Arkvoodle (30 points) | Activate all of the landing zones in every invasion site.
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| Shen Long Scout (20 points) | Find all of Pox's Record Collection in Shen Long.
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| Shock Trooper (20 points) | Shock 100 humans with the Zap-O-Matic.
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| Sleeps with the Fishes (20 points) | Destroy 15 Mobsters in Las Paradiso.
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| Sunnywood Seeker (20 points) | Find all the Furon Emperor Statues in Sunnywood.
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| The 'Wood (10 points) | Sunnywood - Destroy "SUNNY" on the Sunnywood sign.
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| The Emperor's Agent (40 points) | Complete all odd jobs in the game.
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| The Francodyne Connection (25 points) | Destroy 15 Francodyne Guards.
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| THQ 1138 (20 points) | Destroy 15 Lunarian Thugs in Sunnywood.
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| Zen Master (25 points) | Complete all story missions in Shen Long.
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