<br><table width='100%' cellpadding=3 cellspacing=3 border=0><tr valign='top'><th>Achievement</th><th>How to unlock
</th></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Anger Management Required</td><td>You really aught to do something about that stabbing habit.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Aviators</td><td>Activate the aviators.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Bad Show!</td><td>Why would you shoot ted?! He's your best and only friend!
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Calm Book</td><td>Activate the calm book.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Dead Weight</td><td>This hand ain't goin' nowhere.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Deal with it.</td><td>Activate the sunglasses.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Deserted</td><td>Completed the first level.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Fish Slap</td><td>Activate the fish!
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Flying High</td><td>Completed the second level.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Mad Hat</td><td>Activate the top hat.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Only half a buffoon</td><td>Completed the final level.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Oops.</td><td>Use a frag grenade to end your tea party.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Over 2001</td><td>Activate the monolith.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Potato Box</td><td>Witness the potato box flying through space-time.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Straight A's</td><td>Get an 'A' rank in all Mode 1 levels.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Tea, the final frontier</td><td>Completed the third level.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Teaception</td><td>Make a tea within a tea, or something.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>That's Dino-might!</td><td>Use the dynamite.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>The Dude</td><td>Get an 'A' rank in all Mode 2 levels.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>The Fancy Finger</td><td>Flip the bird, if the bird were a fancy bird.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>The Last Baron</td><td>Witness the Red Baron.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>The Tea Boss</td><td>Get an 'S' rank in every level, in both Mode 1 and Mode 2.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>This monday to friday plane</td><td>Activate the snake.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Totally Unrecognizable</td><td>Witness the zeppelin.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Turnip Surprise</td><td>Activate the turnip.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>You Buffoon!</td><td>Yes, well ... I'd call you a buffoon too if you poured hot water on me. Indeed!
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Young Grasshopper</td><td>Let the chi flow through the spasticity of your hand.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>Zombino</td><td>Completed the fourth level.
</td></tr></table>
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