<br><table width='100%' cellpadding=3 cellspacing=3 border=0><tr valign='top'><th>Achievement</th><th>How to unlock
</th></tr><tr valign='top'><td>I am at Risk of Contracting Mononucleosis, Which is Known Colloquially as the Kissing Disease</td><td>This achievement is an award which is awarded for achieving 10,000 kisses total.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>I am One in a Million, and There Are Six Thousand People in the World Exactly Like Me</td><td>Awarded for racking up over 999,999.999 points total.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>I Avoid Sleep Wherever Possible, So I Played AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! a Whole Lot</td><td>Awarded for completing 4,096 jumps.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>I Have Broken More Glass Than a Finely Corpulent Opera Singer, and Love Myself For It</td><td>Awarded for breaking 1,000 scoring plates.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>I Have Completed Every Single of the New Levels and Can Honestly Say That I am Awesome</td><td>Complete the 43 new levels in Awesome. You know, the lower levels? When you click on the down arrow from the level selection screen. Those levels.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>I Have Jumped Beyond the Powers of Two, and Have Lived to Tell the Tale</td><td>Awarded for completing your 128th jump.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>One Fewer Than a Lewd Innuendo Because We Are Totally Past That Phase</td><td>Get exactly 68 kisses in one level. Not 67, unless you then get the 68th. 70 is right out.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>OooooOOoooOOOooOOOOoOOOOO!!! -- O Ooooooooo Ooooooooo ooo Ooooooo</td><td>What if you held the O key down long enough? You could get this achievement. Or, you could say, "Oh, I don't want to do that." That is also okay.
</td></tr><tr valign='top'><td>The Rhylos and Skaery Memorial Achievement, for Which We Will Honor Them</td><td>All fives. All five stars. On all levels. 81 levels. Yeah.
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